Tag: Love

Parenting Sibling Rejection

“But I want to play with you!” “No! Only Esther and Tess are allowed to play!”

Some wounds from childhood cut deep enough to stay with us for decades. Rejection is leaves scars and warps identity and relationships.

If it’s not fun for one, the game is done.

When I see our children playing at the expense of sibling, I immediately remind them of their identity. “We are Crouses. We work together. Play together. Love each other. When we fight, we forgive each other. And no matter where we are, or who we are with, our brothers and sisters will always be our best friends and welcome to join in.” It requires frequent reminders. But, I have seen it play out heartachingly beautifully. 

Train them up in God’s love. In school, playground can often be hurtful battlegrounds. But if a sibling is in view, there should be a sense of refuge there. A safe place to run an be accepted. “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” – Proverbs 17:17

Rejection and rivalry wrecks havoc in our homes. As parents, we often pick our battles. I believe, this should be one of them that we as parents should fight tirelessly. The wounds of rejection grow to beliefs about personal value and love. It changes the way we see ourselves. For a child it becomes a part of the fabric of his or her identity and can warp their relationships far into the future, leaking from the home into our churches and our society as well.

God’s family is full of people from different backgrounds, languages, cultures and values and he bonds them together in the unity of love. When it comes to the blended and diverse families, there is none larger than the family of God. We find in His word the key to bringing our family into unity. He even made it into a family creed:

“There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call—one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” – Ephesians 4:4

What is your family creed that binds you together? When divisions arise and the spirit of Rejection steals into your home, do you have a truth you speak over your children to keep them rooted and grounded in love? If you need a few ideas, here are several great places to look: Read Ephesians 4:1-16, 1 Corinthians 12:12-31 and pray Ephesians 3:14-19.

Ephesians 3:17-19

Father, give my family a spirit of unity and love. Lead us to be “rooted and grounded in love” that we may all  know “with strength to comprehend…what is the breadth and length and height and depth and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge.” Let your love permeate and define our family so that rejection and division have no place in our home.

Not Today COVID.

Rockstar.

This rockstar drinking a chocolate milkshake is my Grandma. And I love her so much.

She came to MO in a covered wagon from Kansas as a five year old.

She lived through the depression and wore a dress made from a bright-yellow flour sack material. (Yes, they bought the flour for food and then used the soft material of the bag for clothes.)

She witnessed our nation unify and the young and old sign up for World War II to fight against Communism and injustice.

As a newlywed she lived in a Colorado logging camp that had formerly been used as a German Prisoner of War camp.

She supported Billy Graham from his beginning to end.

She watched Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin walk on the moon.

She has three children, 6 grandchildren and lots of great grandchildren (Sorry family. I lost count of us all. But she hasn’t.).

Before this Christmas she looked pale and weak. So we took her to the doctor and found out she had only 40% of her blood due to an ulcer. Then they diagnosed a UTI. Then they diagnosed COVID.

Yes, COVID. I thought – we all thought – we will never see her again. Barred from the hospital, we prayed we would see grandma again. Hug her one last time. That somehow, this combination of living on 40% of blood, an infection plus the coronavirus would not take her.

My heart cried out, God! She has given too much, loved too many to die alone!

She will be 91 years old this spring and I am happy to say she is still kicking! Which is what I told her. To which she quipped right back, “Ha! Well, I’m not kicken’ very high!”

Marveling at God’s grace upon her, His answer to our prayers, I asked her, “How did you get through it all? It was just so much.”

She answered, “You just do what you gotta do until you get through it. Anytime you face something new you do not have any experience with it, so you just do it. Then, when you make it through, okay now you have some experience. But until then, you just face it and do it until it’s done and behind you.”

Grit. Thats how I sum it up. Her generation has grit.

I asked her what was the hardest part about the last several weeks. She said, “Being alone. It’s hard to be alone. But I see myself back in my apartment and seeing you all again and that’s what I am working toward.”

Hope. Plain and simple. Hope gives us the strength to do what we need to, to grab hold and push foward until we make it through. It is for hope we persevere.

Hope doesn’t beg for relief or whine about discomfort. Hope doesn’t depend on ease. Hope is the joy set before us. An expectation that rallies the soul and urges us on.

What is the hope you are clinging to today? What propels you forward?

Jesus is the hope my Grandma clings to. He is the hope I cling to. Unmoveable. Unchangeable. Eternal. A rock in the storm. A beacon in the darkness.

Grandma, I am excited for more of your stories and to give you another hug soon. And yes, I’ll bring you another milkshake!

We Do Family Different: Love

Love never fails. It is one of the most simple and profound truths of life. Love existed before man and it will continue to exist after the earth has passed away. Of course this is God’s Love. Eternal and unchanging just like He is. This Love that never fails is free of human imperfections and cannot be corrupted, twisted or manipulated for personal gain. It is however, the foundation and framework God establishes all of our relationships in, especially family.

We use 1 Corinthians 13 in a lot in wedding invitations, showers and presents and I cannot fathom a more appropriate place for it, but it should not be relegated only to that place. In truth, it really should be a gift given at all baby showers and births because Love is the ultimate foundation for parenthood and family.

My husband and I have five amazing kids that span a total of 3 years. God rocked our worlds as He baptized us into parenthood. It is a refining fire. Reading 1 Corinthians 13 never fails to bring their faces to mind as I fix my mind on these verses. Not only because I struggle to put aside my own selfishness (yes, I did just scream at my kids while writing these very words), but because as their mom I am called to walk them through the process of setting their own selfish pursuits aside and learning to live this Love as well. Family is where we learn to love as God loves us: “while we were yet sinners.”

This is the Love we celebrate on Valentine’s Day! Here is a day to celebrate the enduring love of God.

Read 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 and pray Romans 5:8.

Romans 5:8

Father, help me love my family as you have loved us: “in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Teach this family to love each other through our brokenness and imperfection.

We Do Family Different: Choosing a New Foundation

Before you do an overhaul on your family foundation, it is important to understand the meaning of Faith, Hope and Love: why they exist beyond all else, how they feed into each other and why it is imperative to foster these three into the foundation of your family. First, Faith is a longing, a knowing. Faith is an intrinsic, driving force by the unseen that results in action. Faith is what propels us forward into the fight and it is tightly bonded to hope.

Because we were made for a world without brokenness, without violence, without sickness, without death, there is an intense yearning for something better. That “something better” is our Hope. Faith drives us forward to find our Hope.

Love ensures we find it. God’s love makes the way. God’s love reveals the Hope. God’s love establishes our Faith. God’s love is the realization of our Faith and our Hope. This is why Love binds the three together and is the greatest of these. God’s Love partners with Faith and Hope to drive us forward through life and grant us access to that which lasts far beyond.  These three combine to create an during foundation for family.

Read Hebrews 11 and pray Romans 5:1-5.

Romans 5:1-2, 5 ICB

Father, lead this family to be “made right with [You] because of our faith. So we have peace with [You] through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through our faith, Christ has brought us into that blessing of God’s grace that we now enjoy. And we are happy because of the Hope we have of sharing God’s glory… And this hope will never disappoint us, because [You have] poured out [Your] love to fill our hearts. [You] gave us [Your] love through the Holy Spirit, whom [You have] given to us.”

We Do Family Different: Faith, Hope and Love

When we build our families upon Christ, we source our energy from His enduring faith, hope and love. They become the motivation for which we live and bind together.  While every member may not yet walk with the Lord, he or she will be equipped with the knowledge and ability to endure the storms of life. Faith, Hope and Love are not religious philosophies a family embraces. Faith, Hope and Love are the energy, the wellspring of life that spurs us forward. Faith, Hope and Love are the difference between a family living and family living well.

“The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy. I [Jesus] came that [you] may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10).

Jesus offers a very specific heavenly focused faith, hope and love. The three are timeless because they originate from a place where there is no time, only eternity.

We Do Family Different: A Lasting Foundation

Welcome to our new series on Family! Over the next several weeks we will be diving into God’s amazing Word on what it looks like to raise a family God’s way. To make sure you do not miss out follow our blog and share it with friends who would love it too!

A Lasting Foundation

Despite our family failures and weaknesses God equips us with the things that endure beyond our brokenness binding us together in His name. While each family member is responsible for his or her own actions and choices, we can give our families the tools to succeed that God has equipped us with. As a parent you can build, or rebuild your family foundation on Christ aligning it with His three enduring pillars: Faith, Hope and Love. Do not underestimate them. Just because you see them on couch pillows and wall decor does not remove their enduring power to change the course of a family.

Start by praying today’s prayer of 1 Corinthians 13:13 over your family.

Valentines Blitz

I hope everyone had a happy Valentines day last week! We started the morning off right with a bouquet of balloons for the kids and cards from their grandparents.

As you can see it was good fun. Then we finished up the weekend with pink, heart-shaped pancakes. Brian’s creative skills at work there. (Yes, he looks good in a kitchen!)

Esther had fun at her Valentines Day party at school. They made little crafts together and for the last hour the parents were allowed to come. So I went and I enjoyed some Valentine Day fun with the littles in her class.

Then, the next day was 77! So we abandoned the house and played outside all day. I got a bad case of Spring Fever and I’ve been planning my garden ever since.

Pray for them

It is easy to get distracted with romance on Valentines Day, but in truth, love is the essence of the One who created the heavens and the earth. He left His throne in heaven and gave His life for ours so that we would know His love. All love originates from Him. I believe it is the most powerful force in heaven and on earth and there is nothing that can withstand the power of His love.

Father, “if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy,” I pray (Name) will with (his/her) brothers and sisters in Christ be “of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.” Protect the bond of unity and peace between (Name) and the church. In Jesus’ name I ask this, amen. – Philippians 2:1-2

Prayers taken from the BiblicalPrayers mobile app. Download today on the App Store or Google Play store.

Pink Heart Pancakes

The base of this recipe is “Fluffy Pancakes” from Allrecipes. This is my favorite pancake recipe because it is delicious and I can alter it for whatever I want. (The secret is in the butter.) This is a double batch because anything less would result in a family mutiny.

  • 1 1/2 cup Milk
  • 1/4 cup White Vinegar
  • 2 cups Flour
  • 1/4 cup Sugar
  • 2 tsp Baking Powder
  • 1 tsp Baking Soda
  • 1 tsp Salt
  • 2 Eggs beaten
  • 4 Tbsp Melted Butter
  • 1 tsp Vanilla
  • 8 drops Red Food Dye (adjust for desired colored).

Preheat griddle to 350 degrees. In a bowl, combine milk and  vinegar and set aside (Or, if you have it on hand you can simply substitute 1 3/4 buttermilk). In a large bowl combine flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add milk, eggs, butter, vanilla and food dye. Mix until smooth.

Use a squeeze bottle to shape batter into hearts on the griddle (or a spoon if you don’t have a squeeze bottle on hand). Serve hot with whipped cream and strawberries.

 

Thanksgiving Bliss

Four days of bliss. Never have I had such an enjoyable holiday weekend. This year’s Thanksgiving was four days of laid back family time and beautiful weather. We rode our bikes. Went Black Friday shopping. Painted bird houses. Ate two Thanksgiving dinners. Stayed up late baking pies and painting toes. Stained the porch. Slept in. Visited extended family. Watched Baby Einstein’s Baby Santa 20 times. And oh yes, ate lots and lots of pie.

In years past, we were too far from home to go somewhere so I would be busy all day cleaning and preparing every food item. By the end of the day I’d be exhausted and left staring at a huge clean up mess. For me, subconsciously, Thanksgiving was characterized by work.

But this was the year we moved back to my home town and we got to go to Thanksgiving. (Where Esther discovered the quintessential “grumpy cat” kitten and begged me to adopt it.) This year we were not hosting so my kitchen/cleaning time was minimal and I loved every extra minute with my family. I’m realizing only now how I craved this.

Obviously there are expectations for Thanksgiving. Like Turkey. And the fact that said turkey needs gravy. Pumpkin pie is another staple. Cranberry sauce. Delicious.

Yet – not worth stealing my joy. Had I realized this two years or more ago, I would have made a Turkey and a pie and ordered the rest from the grocery store. These years are so precious. Let’s not waste this gift of fleeting family time for the sake of expectations. Enjoy it. Embrace these years that go by like a blur. Cherish the snuggles and time with your family. We need downtime. That’s what holidays are for.

Pray for them

These last several months I have been seeking out God’s love and how it applies to our lives. How we express God’s love toward others, especially when it is a difficult person to love. I have seen that even in our sin, God is faithful. His love is steadfast. His promises are true. He is gracious and compassionate. Slow to anger and abounding in love.

Father, “Let your steadfast love come to [Name], O LORD, your salvation according to your promise; then shall [Name] have an answer for him who taunts [him/her], for [he/she] trust[s] in your Word.” In the name of Jesus I pray, amen. – Psalm 119:41-42

Prayers taken from the daily prayer on the BiblicalPrayers mobile app. Download today on the App Store or Google Play store.

Maple Pecan Baked Brie

When it comes to Christmas recipes I largely pull from the wisdom of my other kitchen colleagues. Here is a favorite of mine that is always just so good during Christmas.

  • 1 Large Sheet of Puff Pastry
  • 1 8 oz Wheel of Brie (with rind)
  • 1 Egg
  • 1 Tbs Water
  • 1/4 cup pumpkin
  • 1/2 cup Maple Syrup
  • 1/2 tsp Pumpkin Spice
  • 2 Tbs Butter
  • pinch of Salt
  • 1/2 cup Chopped Pecans

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Shave the rind off the top of the brie so the pastry sticks to the cheese once it is baked. Roll out the thawed puff pastry on a lightly dusted surface until it is about a 10 inch square.

Prepare the maple sauce by combining pumpkin, maple syrup, spice, butter and salt in a saucepan and simmering until thickened (about 8 minutes).

Whisk egg and water until smooth. Place the brie wheel into the center of pastry and brush pastry edges with egg. Pour a third of the prepared maple sauce over the brie and sprinkle a pinch of the pecans on top. Pull edges of pastry up over the brie and pinch together until it sticks. Brush pastry sides with egg.

Set the brie pastry in a parchment lined baking dish with sides. Bake for 10 minutes. Top pastry with remaining chopped pecans and pour the rest of the maple sauce over the pastry. Bake for another 10 minutes until the pastry crust is golden brown. Serve hot with crackers and sliced apples.

Note: Don’t cover baked brie when it is hot or the puff pastry will become soggy.